Safe Haven

Personal Anecdotes - Random Literary and Prose - My Personal Blackhole. Literary heals a broken heart - - little by little, every single day.

Silent Cushion

Silent cushion, be my salve today.
Enchanting melody, lull me to sleep, I pray.
Lost in a universe forbidding time or pain,
So then, I shall close my eyes and lay.

Numb and free of life's bitter blows,
The world looks upon me through a window.
Yet today, silent cushion, encased in your protection,
I shall hear no more of life's cruel jest and vexation.

Lost in deep slumber, then I remember,
That familiar face. For then, I find cause for joy.
Smiling at me, my angel, my comforter,
Holds me forever, in an embrace never to be broken.

(Just another literary emo moment. I wrote this poem some time between May and June 2009. I don't know what's gotten into me for me to imagine myself lying on a mattress inside a coffin. =) Maybe, I just wasn't able to cope up with his loss.

I admit that eventhough it's been a year and seven months since he had gone, I have not completely moved on yet. It's really hard to be bereaved. Though our correspondence may be noted as rather short, to me, it all ready served as a lifetime.

But, I have no other choice. To choose living is to choose suffering each day with the thought of him. However, there won't be tears falling from eyes anymore. It's better to mourn in silence.

My fingers have been itching to write. Yet, I must study for my subjects and do my projects. Buti nga nakanakaw ako ng kaunting panahon ngayon. Lumabas na naman ang naturalesang pagka-literary emo ko.)

Hinahanap-hanap ko rin ang pagsusulat. Panaka-naka pa rin naman akong gumagawa pero, sa journal ko na lang. hinahanap ko rin ang mga araw na nakatatanggap ako ng feedback tungkol sa mga gawa ko. Maybe, I should start contributing to other sites.

May 5, 2009

There is beauty in absence.
-- Solitary Moonstar, Camera Walls

Saan nga ba patutungo ang entry kong ito? Alam ko at alam mong walang ibang patutunguhan ito kundi -- IKAW.

Magtatatlong buwan na rin simula nang mawala ka. Nalalapit na rin ang finals namin.

Tamang-tama naman, kauuwi ko lang at kapapasak ng mga headphones sa tenga ko para makarinig ng kanta sa radyo. Natural, hiniram ko na naman ang cellphone ni Mama.

Biglang narinig ko ang isang kantang bago sa pandinig ko sa Jam FM. Nakinig ako dahil sadyang nakaeengganyo ang ritmong taglay nang nasabing awiting ito.

Hanggang matunton ko ang linyang sadyang nakapagpagising sa kasalukuyang nalilito kong diwa.

Is there really beauty in absence? To me, absence means emptiness and emptiness eventually leads to pain.

But then again, had I not lost an essential part of me, I would never realize the positive side of absence -- LOVE. We truly appreciate the value of a person once we finally lose him or her.

Nasa punto pa lang ako na matutuklasan ko pa lang na mahal kita. Kung tutuusin, kung nagkatotoo lang sana ang love story nating dalawa, alam kong ito ang bubuo sa isang hungkag na bahagi ng puso ko. Ngayong wala ka na, may pag-asa pa bang mapunan ang espasyong sa'yo lang nakalaan?

Nanghihinayang ako, sa totoo lang. It was only now that I realized, it was YOU all along. You are the embodiment of my ideal man. You are that person I have long sought and dreamt of.

And then, that almost impossible, long-buried dream stole me away from dreaming as I later on found out that all I wanted was to become an international writer.

Mahirap at malamang, maraming taong pagtatawanan ako sa oras na malaman nilang ito ang pangarap ko. Pero, king hindi ako mangangarap nang malaki, ano pa ang silbi nang paghahangad na makilala? Hindi ba, kaya nga tayo binigyan ng Diyos ng kakayahang abutin ang mga pangarap natin ay dahil sa nais niyang gamitin natin ng buo at walang pag-aalinlangan ang mga talentong ibinigay Niya sa atin?

Aking anghel, alam ko, kung naririto ka pa, sususportahan mo ako sa adhikaing ito. Parehas tayong labis ang pagmamahal sa mga letra. Para rin sa iyo ito.

Mahal na mahal kita.

(Raphaelle I. N. J.)

Vraisemblance PS

Cherry Ann A. Rubio

Features and Literary Editor, BSECE V

Ponderings and Musings

“Sometimes, the best things in life happen after you’ve done what you’re supposed to do and are free to follow the path of your dreams.”

I first came across this quote way back in high school. It was written on a bookmark given to us on our graduation rites together with a rosary bearing our school’s seal.

It made me ponder on certain things in my life. It was like an unsolicited advice that came when I badly needed it. Ironically, I was at that point of being torn between pursuing my dream or following my mother’s advice.

To become an engineer was never part of my plan. My life should have taken a different course yet, for some reason, God had provided an unexpected twist to challenge me. Though I do not exactly know why I am here, one thing is for certain -- I am here to fulfill my purpose.

>>> ЂЂ ЂЂ ЂЂ ЂЂ <<<

Makeshift stalls and people from all walks of life filled the busy streets of Divisoria this Christmas season. For a regular commuter passing this route, I feel hassled and pissed off whenever I have to barge my way through the crowd in order to get a ride.

Amidst the crowd and different merchandise covering most of the area, I noticed this group of children aged 5 to 14 years braving the streets to ask for alms from the passengers.

They would distribute ampaos and go back to the entrance of the ride. As expected, they would sing some Christmas carols to entertain the passengers.

I can’t help but be amazed at how courageous these children are. What actually drives them to do this despite the risk of being hit by a vehicle? Where are their parents? They should have been inside the school premises and not found along the streets asking for a few pieces of coins.

Again, this is another sign of poverty. The next president must see this in order for him to conscientiously allocate the funds to the people, especially to those individuals who mostly needed it.

>>> ЂЂ ЂЂ ЂЂ ЂЂ <<<

The news regarding the massacre of 57 people in Maguindanao shook the country. Majority of the casualties were women, including media personnel and relatives of the Mangudadatu clan. To make matters worse, the vice mayor’s wife was raped before being executed.

The tragedy had just exposed one of the country’s weaknesses – our faulty democracy. The Philippines prides itself for upholding the rights of its citizens through a democratic form of government. However, what happened is already a clear indication of human rights violation.

This is how cynical politics goes in the country. Greedy people aspiring to hold the seat of power will use all means in order to get what they wanted – including killing innocent people.

Thanks to the tragedy, our country can now be tagged as one of the most dangerous places for media personnel. The number of casualties involving media men continues to escalate. Furthermore, no extrajudicial killing case has been solved until now.

The state of Maguindanao was placed under martial rule. The action taken was too harsh considering that other measures may be considered in order to bring back the peace and order in Mindanao. Majority of the residents’ rights was again trampled due to this hasty decision.

This is not the first time that we experienced political killings. The event only served as an eye-opener to every Filipino. If not for the fact that majority of the casualties involved were media men, people will simply shrug their shoulders and think that this is one of those common things expected to happen during elections. And the rest is left to oblivion.

>>> ЂЂ ЂЂ ЂЂ ЂЂ <<<

Educational institutions must keep in mind that students enroll in schools to attain holistic development. This pertains not only to their academic performance but also, to the honing of their character and potential.

The foundation of a student’s character is based on his values. The formation of one’s character depends mainly on the type of environment he is in and the people he mingles with and admires.

Students look up to their instructors as their second parents. They emulate their example. Instructors, in turn, play a vital role in the holistic development of a student. It is through their example that they may change to become better persons, or develop into another problem of the society.

After several years as a student, I have observed many problems that exist within the academic community. These are needed to be addressed the soonest time possible because the remedy has to be applied immediately.

Bias – to ECE and EE students, the term may either refer to forward or reverse voltage applied to semiconductor devices for several operations. To the entire student population, this simply refers to the unjust treatment of teachers to their students.

While it is true that it is difficult to remove biases, instructors must keep in mind that they serve as models to their students. They must not forget that the lessons they must impart included not only the academic aspect, but also, the values of respect, integrity and fairness.

I am still hoping for that ideal instructor to come and change my views regarding the injustice starting inside the four corners of the classroom.

(Raphaelle I.N.J)

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About Me

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++ literary emo ++ lover of Apollo ++ MISANTHROPIST ++ certified INTROVERT! ++ writer ++ lover of letters ++ lunatic ++ descendant of Thanatos ++ rival of Nyx ++ archenemy of Hypnos ++ reader between the lines ++ fantasizes of visiting the Louvre Museum someday ++ wishes to defeat Marco Polo's record on circumnavigation ++ daydream traveler ++ gothic muse ++ dark angel ++ mental succubus ++ walang pakialam sa mundo (maliban sa mga taong importante sa akin)++ HATER OF PRETENSION ++ artistic ++ autistic ++ may sariling mundo ++ creator of her universe ++ loyal

On Raphaelle's Wings

RAPHAEL is one of the seven guardian angels who protect mankind and follow God's plans.

While some people believe that he was the angel meant to give luck to cockfighters and betters, Raphael was actually there to guide and heal the brokenhearted.

Thus, Raphael meant "God heals."

This is my corner amongst the sea of many identities and characters.

This blog contains the many thoughts, questions and ponderings that my mind held for so long.

So, sit back, relax and prepare to take a flight.

Let Raphaelle's (my female persona) wings take you on a journey beyond compare, to a faraway land you sought to conquer, touch, see and hold.

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