Personal ANNecdotes

Personal ANNecdotes - Creative Non-Fiction - My Personal Blackhole.

May 5, 2009

There is beauty in absence.
-- Solitary Moonstar, Camera Walls



Saan nga ba patutungo ang entry kong ito? Alam ko at alam mong walang ibang patutunguhan ito kundi -- IKAW.

Magtatatlong buwan na rin simula nang mawala ka. Nalalapit na rin ang finals namin.

Tamang-tama naman, kauuwi ko lang at kapapasak ng mga headphones sa tenga ko para makarinig ng kanta sa radyo. Natural, hiniram ko na naman ang cellphone ni Mama.

Biglang narinig ko ang isang kantang bago sa pandinig ko sa Jam FM. Nakinig ako dahil sadyang nakaeengganyo ang ritmong taglay nang nasabing awiting ito.

Hanggang matunton ko ang linyang sadyang nakapagpagising sa kasalukuyang nalilito kong diwa.

Is there really beauty in absence? To me, absence means emptiness and emptiness eventually leads to pain.

But then again, had I not lost an essential part of me, I would never realize the positive side of absence -- LOVE. We truly appreciate the value of a person once we finally lose him or her.

Nasa punto pa lang ako na matutuklasan ko pa lang na mahal kita. Kung tutuusin, kung nagkatotoo lang sana ang love story nating dalawa, alam kong ito ang bubuo sa isang hungkag na bahagi ng puso ko. Ngayong wala ka na, may pag-asa pa bang mapunan ang espasyong sa'yo lang nakalaan?

Nanghihinayang ako, sa totoo lang. It was only now that I realized, it was YOU all along. You are the embodiment of my ideal man. You are that person I have long sought and dreamt of.

And then, that almost impossible, long-buried dream stole me away from dreaming as I later on found out that all I wanted was to become an international writer.

Mahirap at malamang, maraming taong pagtatawanan ako sa oras na malaman nilang ito ang pangarap ko. Pero, kung hindi ako mangangarap nang malaki, ano pa ang silbi nang paghahangad na makilala? Hindi ba, kaya nga tayo binigyan ng Diyos ng kakayahang abutin ang mga pangarap natin ay dahil sa nais niyang gamitin natin ng buo at walang pag-aalinlangan ang mga talentong ibinigay Niya sa atin?

Aking anghel, alam ko, kung naririto ka pa, sususportahan mo ako sa adhikaing ito. Parehas tayong labis ang pagmamahal sa mga letra. Para rin sa iyo ito.

Mahal na mahal kita.

(Raphaelle I. N. J.)

About Me

My photo
++ literary emo ++ lover of Apollo ++ MISANTHROPIST ++ certified INTROVERT! ++ writer ++ lover of letters ++ lunatic ++ descendant of Thanatos ++ rival of Nyx ++ archenemy of Hypnos ++ reader between the lines ++ fantasizes of visiting the Louvre Museum someday ++ wishes to defeat Marco Polo's record on circumnavigation ++ daydream traveler ++ gothic muse ++ dark angel ++ mental succubus ++ walang pakialam sa mundo (maliban sa mga taong importante sa akin)++ HATER OF PRETENSION ++ artistic ++ autistic ++ may sariling mundo ++ creator of her universe ++ loyal

On Raphaelle's Wings

RAPHAEL is one of the seven guardian angels who protect mankind and follow God's plans.

While some people believe that he was the angel meant to give luck to cockfighters and betters, Raphael was actually there to guide and heal the brokenhearted.

Thus, Raphael meant "God heals."


This is my corner amongst the sea of many identities and characters.

This blog contains the many thoughts, questions and ponderings that my mind held for so long.

So, sit back, relax and prepare to take a flight.

Let Raphaelle's (my female persona) wings take you on a journey beyond compare, to a faraway land you sought to conquer, touch, see and hold.

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