Personal ANNecdotes

Personal ANNecdotes - Creative Non-Fiction - My Personal Blackhole.

 Do you give up easily?


I do. That was me several years ago.


When I was in college, I've decided to leave PLM for good before my 4th year. Why? 🤷‍♂️


Because I'm no longer happy. 😔


I have taken a course which I never loved. And the same course had forbidden me from doing the one thing that I loved - - writing. ✍️


Unknown to my parents, I've applied for a writer stint in the 'Ang Pamantasan.' Luckily, I passed. 


But, the work required in PLM as an EcE student was difficult. I cannot afford to miss my classes because I was maintaining a GWA (general weighted average). It was required in my college course. 


The emotional struggle between doing what I need to do & what I love to do went on. It was difficult to stay because my academic work prevented me from doing my tasks as a protégé writer. 


So on my incoming fourth year, I've decided to exit PLM's doors. I have also received my last few failing marks because I just don't have the urge to continue. I still have a chance to stay but, I told my parents that I will never take it. 


While searching for a new school, I stumbled upon a humble place which did not give out the usual academic facade. Though, the bold letterings indicated it was indeed an educational institution, I wrestled with my thoughts but, decided to go in anyway. 


I went to the registrar & asked what requirements I should pass. I also showed my credentials & the subjects I have completed. She said it was alright, but I had to repeat some subjects due to missing credits. 


I have decided to continue my education here because it gave me a warm, homey feeling. It was the same intuition I had when I studied in UST. I have trusted my gut feel because I knew something good was coming. 


Months went on into my academic calendar. One day in my Solid Mensuration class, a tall lad came into our room and spoke with a booming voice. He introduced himself as Larry. 


They knocked first to ask permission from my teacher. 


Several students, boys and girls, marched in and introduced themselves. Marco went first and said he was the current editor-in-chief of that school's publication. Conrad, then incumbent News and Sports editor came next. Rex, took his turn and mentioned he was the Circulations Manager. 


Other support staff like Hector, Mabel and MK joined in the fun. It turned out they were looking for the next batch of TIP Voice staff, the current publication arm of the institution. 


The word 'publication' struck me. I used to be involved with our high school paper. My dream before was to get in 'The Varsitarian' by the time I became a college student. But, the inevitable twist came which led me to go for PLM instead. 


Never had I thought of continuing to pursue my dream as a writer in an engineering school. 


Oh, the irony! How can I even become a college writer in an institution which boasted of math and numbers? 🙄🔢


But, I became a college journalist. Unfortunately, I had to skip some of my classes to perform my work as a writer. 😝😝😝


I would literally be out sometimes in order to cover outside school events like business meetings, concerts and sports engagements. But, you know what's funny here? 😁😉


This time, I am able to pass my exams & subjects even when I miss my classes. My classmates would sometimes look at me weirdly when the teacher hands out the exam paper marked as 'passed.' 


What's the difference? It's because I am no longer torn between doing what I love to do & what I have to do. I can do both things at the same time without compromising my passion. 


But, being a student & college journalist imposed big challenges to my life. It required sacrifice & tolerance to pain in order to endure the hardships. 


Sometimes, I had to choose between studying for an exam or completing my articles. And, the only choice I have is to do BOTH. 


I wasn't really super chummy with my college classmates back then because I had to focus on my studies & publication work at the same time. 


So now, you ask, what's the lesson in the story? 


THE ONLY THING THAT WILL MAKE YOU STAY AMIDST THE CHALLENGES IS THE REASON WHY YOU ARE DOING IT. It's called 'purpose.'


If you don't know why you are doing something, you will eventually give up on it. But, if you know why you are doing something, you will stay & move forward even when the going gets tough.


So even when it was difficult to work as a college writer while doing academic stuff, I stayed on the course because I love what I'm doing. It's like fire that lit up my soul whenever I put words into this blank expanse. For most people, it is hard to understand why a person like me likes to string words together in order to tell a story or share my thoughts.


But, to me, writing is my passion. I love what I do! And it doesn't matter if most people do not understand me. What matters is that I feel free whenever I curve nonsensical words on this blank sheet.


Have you found what lights you up as a person? 😊🤔

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About Me

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++ literary emo ++ lover of Apollo ++ MISANTHROPIST ++ certified INTROVERT! ++ writer ++ lover of letters ++ lunatic ++ descendant of Thanatos ++ rival of Nyx ++ archenemy of Hypnos ++ reader between the lines ++ fantasizes of visiting the Louvre Museum someday ++ wishes to defeat Marco Polo's record on circumnavigation ++ daydream traveler ++ gothic muse ++ dark angel ++ mental succubus ++ walang pakialam sa mundo (maliban sa mga taong importante sa akin)++ HATER OF PRETENSION ++ artistic ++ autistic ++ may sariling mundo ++ creator of her universe ++ loyal

On Raphaelle's Wings

RAPHAEL is one of the seven guardian angels who protect mankind and follow God's plans.

While some people believe that he was the angel meant to give luck to cockfighters and betters, Raphael was actually there to guide and heal the brokenhearted.

Thus, Raphael meant "God heals."


This is my corner amongst the sea of many identities and characters.

This blog contains the many thoughts, questions and ponderings that my mind held for so long.

So, sit back, relax and prepare to take a flight.

Let Raphaelle's (my female persona) wings take you on a journey beyond compare, to a faraway land you sought to conquer, touch, see and hold.

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