Thoughts over a cup of Coffee
My morning started at 4 pm today.
I reached home at exactly 5:30 AM a while ago due to piled up workload in the office. I am supposed to attend the Free Comic Book Day fest in BGC as well. But, was awefully dismayed with the long queue awaiting me since I will definitely get there late. So, my mind hurriedly etched the words, "Change of Plans!" in my head. I need to inform my friends since I have invited them to join me in that event.
I've scrolled real quick on FB and chatted them over in Messenger. Ending: Event cancelled. But, I have no plans of dampening my day. It is still up to me to make this day wonderful and exciting.
While sipping coffee and staying nooked in our dining table, I busied myself with chatting with Grace to confirm if she would join me. It ended with both of us going separate ways since both had mutual plans of going to different places.
I also turned the TV on and switched it over to my favorite channel: Asianovela channel. Most people think 'fangirling' is a puberty thing. I may be off that cycle but, I don't mind being misjudged for as long as I love doing things.
It was tuned to a new Asianovela series which I will be watching for the first time today. The guy character started speaking gibberish and mentioned a lot of medical jargons. The term which caught my ear was 'NEO-CORTEX.' I've read about it in some medical books and knew it was part of the human brain.
He was speaking to the lead actress and explained what this amazing brain part does to the body. I've decided to retain his words in the vernacular because it had impact and struck me real hard.
The lead girl was complaining about her timidity and inability to adapt to society as a 30-year old woman. She may be older but, younger women her age are more experienced and dauntless when it comes to achieving things. She was more focused and leaned on her defenses rather than, going for attacks. Unexpectedly, the lead guy consoled her with baffling medical concepts.
"Sa mga pusa, ang bawat araw ay pare-pareho lang. Pero sa mga tao, ang bawat oras ay mahalaga. Ang neo-cortex ang responsable para sa emosyon at time instincts ng mga tao. Kaya madali silang mabagot at mainip kung pare-parehas lang ang nangyayari sa kanila. Walang neo-cortex ang mga pusa gaya ng mga tao. Para mga pusa, ang bawat araw ay panibagong araw. Nabubuhay sila sa ngayon, at hindi sa bukas. Ang mga tao ay nabubuhay sa emosyon at sa takot na gumastos ng pera at gumawa ng mga bagong bagay. Ang neo-cortex ay isang malaking kabayaran para sa mga tao. Kaya hindi sila nakokontento sa kung ano ang nangyayari sa ngayon. "
The protagonist guy's character spelled out the word GENIUS. Thankfully, the protagonist woman was a writer so she can keep up with the uncontemporary mind which he had. Unlikely, they found each other in an unexpected moment which two people rarely share.
The scene ended with the woman kissing him unexpectedly. She seized the moment and went for an unexpected attack which he cannot counter. Good job, girl! Then, she fled to the last bus that went over to the stop. The guy was left with no choice but, to look for other means of transport.
It was a spontaneous act which had no significant thought. She decided to do something to get herself out of her comfort zone.
I found myself pondering over my own maturity cycle. I knew for a fact that I am not immature. I contemplate things first before deciding, especially the critical ones. But, I do not act the way most women my age do. They busy themselves with dating, travel goals, marriage goals and worrying over their fertility cycle because the chances of giving birth become slim as a woman ages.
I see myself with one foot barely out the slightly open door. Like an undecided individual thinking whether I should go for the kill or just stay in the secluded walls. Kids make me happy and I don't mind having my own. But, the search for finding the best candidate as their father is close to nil.
Friends have suggested having accounts in online dating sites. I have inactive profiles in 2 of these. But, sometimes, it's boring to speak with people you've never seen in your life. I prefer personal interactions instead. I will try blind dates in the future.
Sometimes, the common mindset is intoxicating, suffocating even. The expected notion is to have your own family by the time you hit your late 20s. But, life offers different circumstances, different purposes, different journeys for each individual. To each his own.
I wonder why walking through life at your own pace is hard to do these days. Why is happiness and joy anchored to having a family of your own? I am happy with my current state -- single, free and with enough room to move at my own pace.
I can even stretch further and may travel to places I have never been before. I have my financial resources planned out for the future in case I have decided to move out of my parents' house and into a place of my own.
We live in the fear of losing time. That same acute phobia prevents us from enjoying what we have now. Because of our fear of losing time, we get so caught up in the daily frenzy and bustles of life, unknowingly moving around in a nonstop cycle of trying to accomplish what we can in the short span given to us.
I guess, I never wanted to see myself on that same cycle. I don't want to keep running in circles mindlessly. I want to enjoy every moment that life has to offer me.
If I don't get to have a partner, then so be it. What matters is that I live in the present, in the now. Life is too precious to waste on unfounded worries.
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