Personal ANNecdotes

I thought I would outgrow blogging.

But, in some ways, the feel of writing on an empty space and the coming of words to life on that blank expanse excites me.

Writing had always been my number one love. And surprisingly, the first man I loved had also the same passion as I.

We have been apart for more than 10 years now. He is officially free from life's worries and pains. But, he would have removed the void in my heart if he remained here.

So far, I have been existing for more than 10 years as well after his demise. There are no more tears coming from my eyes as I am writing this. Yet somehow, you miss the person and the memories you've shared while still together.

Honestly, I have been conditioning myself to never expect for a new love to come along. I am content with being single. But sometimes, the thought of carrying a life inside my womb is an experience that I may never have in this lifetime. It is sad, especially when I see friends posting about their cute little babies and the moments they share together. I would really love to have my own child. But probably, I'll have that in another lifetime. 😊

My existence is placid. It went to being quiet and less exciting after ending my online existence in several dating platforms. There were some perverts. Others rather boring. But, you also come across really interesting individuals who may give you false hope that a future love will spark.

I guess, I wanted a breather. A downtime to rejuvenate who I am, what I want and am praying for and clear goals to steer myself forward to a relationship or a better career move.

Now, I am starting to love the blessing of being single and independent. I love the thought of buying my own needs, medicines and even my clothing cravings. I pay for my own food. I help maintain utilities in our household.

Life looks different when you get a taste of the real world. It seemed scary the way adults tell you when you were in your teen or college years. But, life is indeed manageable and beautiful. There will be humps once in a while. Yet, most of the time, the ride will remain smooth and free flowing as you go along.

I believe in you, Cherry. Whether you should love again or remain single is another puzzle that will solve itself as you come across future experiences. Keep moving forward. Don't be afraid.

Just enjoy the ride, mesmerize in the sceneries and never forget who you are.

You are one amazing woman! Ganbatte, Sakura!