Personal ANNecdotes

March 2, 2020 It's officially March 2 today. 14 days ago was your 10th death anniversary. 10 years ago, I thought I would never forget you. The younger me back then, planned on visiting your grave on that fateful day. But, I have forgotten. Not your memory. And certainly, not the person that you are. But the days andthe months that went on helped me to let go, little by little of the pain, tears and regrets that the younger me had upon losing you. I thought I would keep on holding on to that love. But, time taught me better. It is indeed true that time heals all wounds. I remember my old self crying my heart out while writing about our memories together and the feelings I've had for you. About the moment I could have been brave enough in telling you how I feel for you. Believe it or not, it still pains me to remember how much I miss you and long for you to be with me in my current life journey. But, the moment of holding hands with you will never come. The second to touch your lips and whisper 'I love you' will never transpire. The months and years counting our times together will never be ours. It will always be a 'what if' that I regret not taking because I have chosen to do the right thing - - to wait for us to graduate before getting into a serious relationship. But time, had also taught me to forgive myself. Part of growing up and maturity is choosing to hold back and see the future. It includes choosing to make the right decisions even at a painful cost. So, when I became an adult, choosing the right thing became an inevitable habit and acknowledging the fact that you are accountable for your actions was deeply imbedded. I guess, remembering a dear friend and could have been partner was inevitable at the moment. The song on my playlist set me off to reminiscent mode. Con, you will always be a beautiful memory and dear friend to me and to those you cherish. I have gotten used to the pain just like involuntary breathing in shallow or deep gusts. This is me saying goodbye to the pain and the could have been love story between us. Because I have chosen to move on and give my heart to someone else. In pace requiescat, Conrado Abrugar Macapulay, Jr.