A Week without Mom
A few hours ago, my mother requested me to book her a Grab ride to NAIA terminal 3. Mind you, the amount was hefty. Her ride costed 433 pesos even on a GrabShare slot.
Like a giddy girl, my mom had been looking forward to this one. She is destined to go to Leyte, her childhood home.
My mom, of course, is a true blood Bisaya. Even after spending years in Manila, her Bisaya accent is unmistakably distinct when she is not conscious with what she is saying. My sister, the third among a brood of 4 girls, would often tease her when she catches her off guard. She would often shove her and declare with conviction that she hailed from Tacloban. The accent will remain for as long as she lives.
Honestly, I am beginning to miss her a lot. She had been just a few hours away from home and her absence is felt really bad. I'm not used to being in the house without her.
I'm not saying I'm a perfect daughter. We randomly have squabbles every now and then, when she successfully ticks off my patience. For some unknown reason, only my mom is good enough to unleash the 'beast' in me. I can't help shooting stinging words when the beast mode turns on. The end result would be, her crying helplessly because the 'rude' daughter had forgotten who is the child and who is the mother. Call it 'biological hierarchy.' I'm sorry. Sometimes, I forget being careful with words when in rage mode.
I was planning to go with her. But, the reality of being a working girl holds me accountable to my deliverables. I can't disappear in the office for a full good week without spending much of my vacation leaves.
My relationship with my mother is the perfect mix of what you call a 'love-hate relationship.' Sometimes, I hate her. Especially when she points out things in the past which happened eons ago (excuse the hyperbole). There have been things that you've outgrown in the past as a child and a teenager. But, she keeps bringing them back like they happened just a few minutes ago. I also hate it when she goes on the nonstop frenzy of scolding you all day. I end up leaving the house or nooking silently in a corner, quietly listening to her rants and praying endlessly for her to stop. The situation gets better for me when I am out of the house. But, lo and behold, she is still not done upon your return. And the worst part? It gets extended the next day and even the whole week with her nerves on the rise whenever she sees you.
Call me a masochist. But I guess, that is also my mother's charm. I am so used to her attitude that it's something I miss in her when she's not around.
Yet, most of the time, I am in love with her. Especially when she prepares us breakfast, cleans the house, tidies our beddings, folds our clothings and calls up every time we go home late at night. My work as an IT support dictated a non-conventional clock. Sometimes, I will have to stay up late for a meeting with our US counterparts. Of course, you know the drill. We, Filipinos, do the adjustment most of the time. So, if I am starting to become an insomniac, blame it on the crazy body clock which my current work developed in me. I end up missing her momentary phone calls, missed calls and text messages whenever I am not yet at home.
Sometimes, I would fondly call her 'Mama' for no reason. I miss being her little girl. I would love to cuddle her close like nobody else meant more in this world. But, my current body size wouldn't allow me to curl up safely in her arms lest, she gets crushed with the latest weight I have.
I miss being safe and secure in her gentle arms. I know that one of the safest places in this world is a mother's arms. I am currently going through a lot of tough times in my work and my personal life. Quarter life crisis may be slowly hitting me now.
My current relationship status may never be called 'conventional.' An adult my age is expected to get married, have kids and join the good housewife club at this point. But, I am an NBSB with almost zero plans of getting hitched at the moment.
Sometimes, I wonder how my mom triumphed over her married and parent stages. For someone like me who had never been in a relationship, marriage is a serious commitment. It's some thing you don't want to mess with if you still have plenty of plans in life.
Probably, I was lucky for not meeting Mr. Right yet at this point. But, I may have also met him. However, it was him who was not ready for me. Since marriage is indeed a commitment, I can see her sticking up to it even if loving my father was hard sometimes. I'm not sure if it would be easy for me by the time the right one asks for my hand.
Going back, since my mom would be gone for the week, I am expecting the house to be in minor ruckus. Of course, I would deal with the simple task of putting things in their places and sweeping the floors now and then. I also take care of the dishes when she is not there. But, since I cannot stay for long in the house and I also have tasks in my work, I really cannot spend enough time to keep things spic and span.
She knows what to expect by the time she comes back. And my same old mother would be in riot mode when she sees the house all jumbled and in shambles.
😂😂😂
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